A very important part of any family law case (divorce, separation, custody) is the professional relationship each party has with their attorney.  It is critical to choose an attorney with experience in family law and specifically experience in the areas most relevant to your case.  Once you have chosen an attorney, it is crucial to have realistic expectations of your attorney.

1) It is helpful to understand what your attorney is not. 

Your family law attorney is not your therapist.  Your attorney is not a sword to weld against the other party out of vengeance.  Your attorney is not your new best friend.  Certainly your attorney should care about you and your case but a good attorney will maintain a professional relationship.

2) Your attorney’s role is to be your “advocate”. 

In this role, an advocate is basically the person who presents your position to the other party and the court.  Sometimes that requires aggressive litigation.  Sometimes being a good advocate means engaging in negotiations and keeping your case out of the courtroom.

3) Being a good advocate means your attorney should listen to your needs.

Your family law attorney should start the matter by collecting information about all the aspects of your case.  Your attorney should find out what is most important to you.  It is imperative that you provide all the requested information to your attorney.

4) Your attorney should explain the law to you. 

The law is more than just the statute; it includes the local court rules and case law.  An experienced family law attorney will also be familiar with the court commissioners and judges in your area.  They will be able to offer advice based on the way they have seen the local courts rule in other cases.

5) Many friends and family will tell you  about “their cases”. 

Keep in mind that every case is different.  A good family law attorney will advise you how best to proceed in your case.  The attorney will provide you the information needed to make good decisions.  You may not always like what the attorney tells you but you always want an attorney who is honest with you about your case.  An attorney who simply does everything you want without consideration for the law is not acting in your best interests.

6) Expect that your attorney will ask you to provide information and documents. 

It is important to provide this information in a timely manner.  It is important to always be honest with your attorney.  Hiding pertinent information from your own attorney will only hurt your case.

7) A good family law attorney will have the experience and knowledge to address all the issues in your case. 

That is a reasonable expectation.  It is also reasonable to expect that your attorney maintains good communication with you.  Your attorney cannot predict the future but should always take the time to explain the potential risks and benefits of actions taken in your case.  Make sure that in seeking an attorney you find one who will meet these reasonable expectations.

8) Follow Up With:

1) If you have a pre-nuptual agreement, review it.

How closely have you followed it? Which parts worry you? Bring the pre-nup to your first meeting with your attorney. Depending on how it was drafted and the circumstances surrounding its signing, as well as whether or not you have abided by it will affect its enforceability. You should discuss your concerns with your attorney so together you can formulate a game plan.

2) Become familiar with your finances.

Do a budget of your monthly income and expenses. Know what your household usually spends each month, how much you would need to get by, and how much more you would need to maintain your current standard of living.

3) Plan for a one-income household.

Will you be able to afford your current mortgage or rent? Will the bank give you financing on just your income if you need to refinance? The court may award you spousal maintenance (alimony), but can you live without it? If you have been out of the job market for some time, what can you do to prepare yourself? Do you need to go back to school? For how long? What student loans are available to you? The court likes a person with a plan, and may grant you what is called “rehabilitative maintenance” to help you get back on your feet.

4) If you are contemplating divorce DO NOT enter into any additional joint obligations with your spouse:

house, mortgage, car, credit cards, etc. You will have to untangle yourselves again in the divorce.

5) If you have a heavy load of debt, consider filing for bankruptcy BEFORE finalizing your divorce rather than after.

If you have no debt to divide, you have one less thing to argue about in the divorce. The divorce court cannot order you to pay debts that have been discharged by a federal bankruptcy court. Also, if your divorce decree assigns some of your joint debt to you, and then you discharge the debt in a bankruptcy, your former creditors could potentially turn around and go after your former spouse. Your former spouse could then take you back to court for contempt of the divorce decree. It can get messy. If you can avoid the mess in the first place, do.

6) Washington is a community property state, meaning all assets and debts acquired during the marriage are joint and need to be divided in your divorce.

However, inheritances and gifts are exceptions, and are your separate property, so long as they were clearly intended to be for just you. KEEP THESE FUNDS SEPARATE. If you use them for a “community” investment or activity, your spouse can argue that you “comingled” them with community funds, or that you gifted them to the community, thus making them community funds.

7) As part of a divorce, you have the option of requesting that the court give you a protection order, or a restraining order against your spouse.

Often, these are “he said, she said” hearings, and you strengthen your case if you have evidence you can present to support your story. Start collecting police reports, medical reports, text messages, emails, facebook messages/posts that indicate you have a reason to fear your spouse. If you think your spouse might request a protection order or restraining order, let your attorney know what evidence is out there that might come back to haunt you. Your attorney can only give you good advice when you’ve provided good information.

8 ) If you have children, decide now what role you want to have in their lives, and start living that role.

If you have been only minimally involved in playdates, bathtime, bedtime, meals, driving to and from school , start becoming more active in your children’s lives. Keep a log of which parent does what, as a record for future litigation, but also to give yourself a realistic picture of who may be named the “primary” parent by the court.

9) The court prefers stability for children. Start transitioning them into their new lives sooner rather than later, so that by the time you are in front of a commissioner or judge, they will feel comfortable ordering something that has already become familiar to the children.

If they will be in daycare after the divorce, find a good daycare for them (and include the cost in your monthly budget above!). This is not just strategy – your children’s lives are about to change drastically. The sooner they figure out what their new lives are going to look like, the easier it will be for them to adjust.

10) And finally, if you have children, and are contemplating a move, try to accomplish this DURING the divorce, rather than after.

If you move your children’s residence after a parenting plan has been entered, even if it is only across a school district line, Washington’s Relocation statue is triggered, and you will have to give official notice to the other parent. Depending on how far of a move you are making (or how litigious of an ex you have) this could result in a whole different court case. Save yourself the frustration of TWO court cases: move before or during the divorce, or make it very clear in your final parenting plan that you will be living elsewhere.

This list is not comprehensive. Each case is different and will raise different issues. Consult with an experienced family law attorney to fully investigate your options and prepare for your future.

Part 1:

Part 2:

Classes such as “Legal Research for the Non-Attorny” are offered.
206-296-0940
www.kingcounty.gov/courts/Familycourt

2) Washington Law Help

Website with hundreds of free legal education materials.
www.washingtonlawhelp.org

3) Washington State DHS

For Information on administrative or court ordered child support.
206-341-7000
www.dshs.wa.gov/dcs

4) King County Prosecutor’s Office of Domestic Violence Protection Order Advocacy Program

The Protection Order Advocacy Program is a program within the Domestic Violence Unit of the KCPA office. The program assists KC residents and those who recently fled KC as they petition the courts for protection orders.

206-296-9547 – King County Superior Court (Seattle) Room C-213
206-205-7406 – Maleng Regional Justice Center (Kent) Room 2B
www.protectionorder.org

1) Remember The Safety of You And Your Family:
The end of a marriage can lead to unexpected and violent emotions. Be safe and take precautions. Don’t over act, just be safe.

2) Make Your Children The Most Important Factor In Your Divorce:
Don’t fight in front of the children. Do not use the children for support. Put your children first and don’t make them a part of the problem.

3) Consult A Washington State Divorce Attorney:
It is important that you seek consul and learn your obligations and rights.

4) Gather All Your Household Documents and Inventory All Family Possessions:
Do you know everything about your families’ finances? Planning will avoid lengthy delays and process slowing discovery procedures later. Have you listed and inventoried all of the “common” property and “separate” property or property owned by you and your spouse prior to the marriage?

While these rules for characterizing property as either community or separate property seem fairly simple, there are many nuances and special rules for different types of property. For instance, a common question arises when separate property increases in value during the marriage. You will need to depend on the experience and skill of your lawyer in advising you regarding the characterization of the property involved in your divorce.

5) Know What Your Spouse Earns:
If your spouse has a regular job you’ll have bank statements that show how much she/he earns. However, if they are self employed you may have to do a little work to find out.

If your spouse is self-employed or gets paid in cash, keep track of the money flowing in for several months.

6) Define and List the Household Budget:
The dissolution of a marriage will require going forward that there be two household budgets. Be prepared to discuss your budget with your lawyer. Make sure you know how the bills are going to be paid in order to avoid delinquent payments. Know which spouse is paying which bill and make sure that they do their part.

7) Know Your Credit History
Take care to repair or build your own credit prior to the divorce.

8 ) Start Building  Your Own Savings
If you have the luxury to start saving prior to your divorce you will be in a better place to handle financial surprises and set backs.

9) The Waiting Game
You need to remember that your activities, spending, your actions toward your spouse and children, opposing counsel and the court are all been watched and recorded.

Much of family law is based upon people’s subjective evaluations of other people, and as they say, “you never get a second chance to make a first impression.” Be your best even when things are at their worst.

10)Read Getting A Divorce In Washington State

Resources:

http://www.family-law-illinois.com/services/Divorce/10_Things_You_Need_To_Do_If_Divorce_Is_Imminent.html

http://www.divorcesource.com/ds/texas/contemplating-divorce-10-things-you-should-know-3415.shtml

In this video:

Linda Kazares a Divorce Resource Advocate gives 3 tips for filing divorce.

1) Search the Internet and look for information and plans on how others are preparing for divorce. Know your map and the qualifications of the sources you’ll use for your map.

2) Develop your map or plan for divorce.

3) Create the life you always wanted. Design a life that will satisfy you for the rest of your life.

Collaborative Law seeks to resolve disputes by keeping the disputed matter from the court room. Collaborative Law is more about finding a solution to the problem then fighting and winning.

“Collaborative Practice, including Collaborative Law and interdisciplinary Collaborative Divorce, is a new way for you to resolve disputes respectfully — without going to court — while working with trained professionals who are important to all areas of your life.” – International Academy Of Collaborative Professionals.

Collaborative Divorce is sometimes called “no-court divorce,” “divorce with dignity,” or “peaceful divorce.” This is a chance to work with a professionals, coaches, lawyers, and child and financial experts to guide you without having to go in litigious court.

The Parts Of A Collaborative Divorce:

•    1. The parties sign a collaborative participation agreement describing the nature and scope of the matter.

•    2. The parties voluntarily disclose all information which is relevant and material to the matter that must be decided.

•    3. The parties agree to use good faith efforts in their negotiations to reach a mutually acceptable settlement.

•    4. Each party must be represented by a lawyer whose representation terminates upon the undertaking of any contested court proceeding.

•    5. The parties may engage mental health and financial professionals whose engagement terminates upon the undertaking of any contested court proceeding.

•    6. The parties may jointly engage other experts as needed.

If you are interested in looking into pursuing a Collaborative Divorce please contact us:

The process surrounding divorce is usually emotionally charged and it can lead to dads making the wrong choices and damaging their chances in getting a favorable ruling in child custody cases.

This is a hot topic on the Internet. The Huffington Post recently reported these 5 actions that dads in the middle of divorce and custody battles want to ensure that they avoid.

1) Yelling At Your Wife: Men are seen as stronger and more powerful than women. Keep your cool. Giving your estranged wife the chance to use or misuse Orders Of Protection against you will only hurt your chances in a custody battle. 85% of Orders Of Protection have been entered against men. In too many of these cases these are tactical nuclear weapons meant by the woman’s legal team to use later during the custody fight.

Keep in mind, that yelling to get your point across is also damaging to your relationship with your children.

2) Moving In With A Lover: Divorce is toughest on the children. Judges may not look kindly on your children being exposed to a significant other while the divorce process is proceeding.

3) Criticizing Your Estranged Wife To Friends And Family: You need support too, but opening up to your children, common friends and family and bad mouthing your estranged wife can lead to claims of parental alienation. Avoid any talk or action that will be claimed as trying to keep your children away from, or influence them against their mother.

4) Denying Telephone Contact Between The Children And Their Mother: If they request to talk with their mother, let them. if she calls them, be polite.

5) Taking The Kids Out Of The Region Without Telling Their Mother In Advance: It may appear that you are attempting to kidnap your children if you don’t include your estranged wife in your plans.

In summary, it is important that you remain calm, considerate and polite during the divorce process. By doing the right things you’ll have better outcomes at all stages and increase your ability to get the result you want during the child custody hearings.

Feel free to ask us any questions you have regarding child custody and support.

Sources:

The Huffington Post – Child Custody

Dads Divorce.com - Child Custody

The Huffington Post – Custody Battles In Washington State

The Huffington Post – Order Of Protection

Dissolution or Divorce in Washington State is a no-fault action.  This means that all that must be alleged is that the marriage is “irretrievably broken”.  The court will not be looking into the “why’s” of how we got here.  Also, one can file at any time, no waiting period after separation is required.  However, once a dissolution is filed, there is a waiting period of 90 days before the final dissolution paperwork can be entered.

Property:

For most couples, splitting up your possessions is a big part of the process of getting divorced. Either you and your spouse sit down and decide together who gets what property — or a judge will have to divide what is called your “marital” or your “community” property. If possible, of course, it’s best to do the dividing yourselves.

The most important thing to do is to be open and honest in setting out everything of value you have come to own during your marriage. That includes revealing that you still have a little bank account you secreted away five years ago when the two of you were thinking about splitting up. Items such as these tend to surface sooner or later, and the penalties for hiding something of value can be serious.

If the parties cannot come to an agreement as to how to divide the property, the court is looking to divide the property in a just and equitable manner.  This does not always mean a 50/50 split of property, but it may turn out that way. Division of property does not necessarily mean a physical division. Rather, the court may award each spouse a percentage of the total value of the property. Each spouse will get personal property, assets, and debts whose worth adds up to his or her percentage.

Debt:

Part of splitting up property, in Washington, is splitting up debt.  Generally, any debt that one has prior to the marriage remains their own.  The court will be interested in the type of debt, when it was accrued, and how much debt the community has.  Each party can anticipate walking away with some of the debt of the marriage at the end of the dissolution process.

Children:

When you have children, and are going through a dissolution or divorce, you are worried about where the children will live, how they will supported, where they will go to school, etc.  A document called a parenting plan can lineate much of these questions, and covers the child’s residential schedule, the decision-making responsiblities of the parents, and any restrictions that may be necessary.  Restrictions are based on factors such as domestic violence, alcohol or drug use, and abandonment.  These are only some reasons one’s visitation might be restricted.

Support for the children will also be addressed by a Child Support Order.  Child Support in Washington is based on a statutory schedule, which sets support based on the income of the parents, the age of the children, and the number of children.

About Our Divorce Attorney’s:

It is the mission of our Washington Divorce Attorneys to help you through this process and aggressively advocate for your interests.  Our experienced attorneys will counsel, inform and guide you through the process.  We will help you in setting goals and expectations, and negotiate for the best possible outcome for you.  If no negotiations can be reached, our attorneys are experienced trial lawyers who can effectively present your case.

I am Considering Marriage. Should I Have a Prenuptial Agreement?

The answer is: It depends! Only you and your fiancé can make the determination of whether a Prenuptial Agreement is the right thing to do. Generally, a Prenuptial Agreement is drafted to protect the assets of one of the parties who have accumulated a larger financial portfolio than the other party. But these agreements can be used to satisfy any number of differing financial needs and estate planning purposes. The default community property distribution of assets in Washington State can have serious consequences for an individuals’ portfolio and other business assets. Under the normal community property distribution; all future earnings are shared equally by the parties. In addition, each party can ask for the court to award spousal maintenance based on the length of the marriage, their needs and other factors. (See Spousal Maintenance). The state’s default inheritance laws would also act to distribute each person’s property upon their death. Even with a Prenuptial Agreement, a will or revocable living trust should be created to avoid the default application of the state’s intestacy statutes. Prenuptial Agreements can be useful to avoid potential conflict and can be conducive to creating a collaborative approach to dealing with financial considerations that the default laws may otherwise “impose” on the parties, regardless of the outcome.

What Can A Prenuptial Agreement Accomplish?

Regardless of the parties specific financial position all Prenuptial Agreements operate to change how Washington’s default property distribution laws would apply to their estates upon marriage. A properly drafted Prenuptial Agreement will allow the parties to create their own property distribution agreement that better fits their specific economic circumstances. This agreement becomes a legally binding contract of the parties to conduct the acquisition, transfer and characterization of current and future assets.

Do I Need an Attorney to Draft Our Prenuptial Agreement?

No, the services of an attorney are not required, but it would be wise to seek the assistance of an experienced attorney considering the legal complexities involved in creating a valid contract. A poorly prepared, or executed, Prenuptial Agreement can result in the agreement being unenforceable. Prenuptial Agreements evoke many different feelings in people and have been misunderstood because of some of the abuses that have taken place in the past. This makes Prenuptial Agreements some of the most highly scrutinized legal documents that exist. While there can be no guarantees when it comes to Prenuptial Agreements, you owe it to yourself and your future financial security to get the best advice possible on creating an enforceable contract.  Additionally, if a Prenuptial Agreement is challenged before the court, the judge will determine if the parties had an opportunity to review and understood the agreement. Having separate attorney’s for each party is critical to satisfy a future judge that each party knowingly, intelligently and voluntarily agreed to be bound by the terms of the agreement.

What Mistakes Should I Try and Avoid?

As previously mentioned the advice of counsel should be sought to advise each party on every aspect of the agreement they are entering into. The attorney’s should be independent and not chosen or paid for by the other party. The attorneys need to be free from any suspected bias that may be present when they are chosen, or their services paid for, by only one party. The timing of these agreements is crucial as well. Judges often frown on agreements that are reached close to the date of the wedding. The judges are far more likely to uphold an agreement if there has been an adequate amount of time to consider the Prenuptial Agreement in a deliberate manner. Our recommendation is that the Prenuptial Agreement be finalized at least 2-months prior to the intended wedding. Would a Prenuptial Agreement finalized closer to the wedding date be automatically void? No, absolutely not, but any action that can be done to improve the chances of your agreement being upheld, if challenged, should be taken. Care should also be taken to not go “too far” in the agreement. Regardless of the contracts enforceability, the court can deny the application of a contract that is “Unconsciable.” Such an analysis is a “Substantive” evaluation of whether the agreement makes a fair and reasonable provision for the other party. Even if the agreement awards more property to the wealthier party; the agreement will be upheld, without further consideration, as long as it is not unfair to the other spouse. If the court determines the agreement is unfair a procedural fairness determination will be made by the court. The court will determine if the contract provided the necessary amount of time for consideration, full disclosure of the nature and value of their property and if the parties entered into the agreement knowingly, voluntarily and intelligently. The burden of proof in contested matters will be on the party seeking to enforce the agreement. Even if the agreement was not substantively fair, the court may refuse to void the contract if there was procedural fairness.

Can’t I Just Purchase One of Those Prenuptial Packages Off the Internet?

Yes, you can, and millions of other people can as well. Prenuptial Agreements are not “one size fits all” kind of agreements. These are quite possibly the most important documents you will be creating in the course of your marriage. When the stakes are as high as they are, you owe it to yourself to make certain you have all of the necessary facts before committing to a contract that will guide your conduct and financial security in the foreseeable future.  The legal fees that are incurred to properly prepare and execute a Prenuptial Contract can reap huge rewards in regards to the certainty of the agreement and the confidence that your financial plans can proceed as envisioned.

Contact our experienced Family Law Attorney’s today for a free legal consultation on all of your Prenuptial Agreement questions.